Though we encounter life lights everyday, we have a limited number bringing depth to our life. The younger me disbelieved such a person could exist. Then, I met my husband, Greg, whose light is continuing to shine brighter with each year. Now, I believe
he was mine before I met him. These life light stories are written to strengthen you and bring an appreciation of the lights God has shinning in your life.
***
Greg's Own Get Away
Greg asked
in a way that was a bit disappointed. He
depended on me to make the reservations, and his anxieties went up when the
valet refused to park our car. It was Mother’s Day and there were no tables
left on the island, or so we thought. I
had planned for our church small group to enjoy a night of fellowship, and we
were scrambling to find an open table.
The phone buzzed and Janet had a place held at Sol, a few minutes
away. “Let’s all head that way to see if
we can get those seats!” I was relieved that we had found a place to land when
the first call-ahead seating plan fell apart.
Greg’s stress faded when all eight of us were
conversing over and looking
at menus.
“Didn’t
you have reservations for the Boathouse on Isle of Palms, Denise?”
Greg asked
in a way that was a bit disappointed. He
depended on me to make the reservations, and his anxieties went up when the
valet refused to park our car. It was Mother’s Day and there were no tables
left on the island, or so we thought. I
had planned for our church small group to enjoy a night of fellowship, and we
were scrambling to find an open table.
The phone buzzed and Janet had a place held at Sol, a few minutes
away. “Let’s all head that way to see if
we can get those seats!” I was relieved that we had found a place to land when
the first call-ahead seating plan fell apart.
Greg’s stress faded when all eight of us were 
Dave,
sitting next to Greg struck up the question, ‘How would you like to go fishing,
Greg?” Greg loves to fish, and I am sure
he thought maybe fishing on a large vessel offshore. Dave was asking this of a man who rarely takes a vacation and never a “guy”
trip. I observed Greg's reaction and I could see in his eyes a glimmer of hope.
"We are
talking 2 ½ weeks in at a pristine, Canadian lake at the only private property
in the middle of a preserve."
Greg’s
eyes grew even larger, but soon dropped thinking I just don’t see how that
would be possible, but I knew amazing when I heard it.
Like Dave, Greg had
grown up in the Ohio Amish corridor, and ever since we had begun in small
group, his eyes had been set on Greg to be his next man-cave dweller. And I thought it was my charm that kept him coming back to our church small group each week.
“Denise,
did you have a rumspringa?" Dave
teased after dangling the Canada fishing carrot in front of Greg’s eyes. During our regular Sunday night meetings, Dave found out we were both from Amish background, and I had regularly given
Dave a hard time about some of his habits that made it hard on his lovely wife
Jane. Turnabout was fair play.
“What
are you saying? Me, rumspringa? Rumspringa is the time when Amish teens sow their wild oats before taking the vow to join the church. The vow meant game over. "Well, if I did, Dave Mathis, I won't be spilling my guts to you!" In my younger years, I wasn't close to acting Amish.”
As the
dinner was ending, Dave stepped aside as I was gathering my things, “Denise,
you need to make this happen, he needs to take me up on this, it’s a chance of
a lifetime for someone who enjoys fishing.”
My heart
was stirred because I knew at that moment, Greg was going to Canada. Here we were in the middle of a remodel with
my front room torn down to framing, my house was in the continual disarray, and
life shows up to derail our house renovation project from getting completed, again.
But what I was learning in this redo was that the house didn’t own us. We continued to
live balanced which meant breaks, detours, and family coming first. It didn’t make any sense for Greg to up and
leave the country for most of June, and I knew about day three I was going to
regret it, but I learned a long time ago to listen to that small still voice
inside of me agreeing with Dave.
“Greg, I
want you to work out the details and go on this trip,” The words dropped from
my lips as we got into the car. I heard
them with my own ears, but couldn’t believe I was saying them. Since living on Congress Street, I had never
stayed in the Charleston house solo and just the thought made me feel a sense
of dread. Two weeks sounded like such a
long time. From time to time, things
went wrong at the house. There was
always the inner-city crime thing, and the air conditioner breaker thing, the
front room security thing, and my mind was going on and on with reasons this
was so crazy to encourage Greg to do the man thing in Canada for two weeks. Did I fail to mention the 30-year anniversary
thing which would happen just days before he left? This would even mean postponing any kind of
trip to celebrate as a couple. What’s
more, I don’t think in the 30 years of being together we had ever spent 18
nights away from one another, nothing more than an extended weekend or
week-long work trip.
“It
would use up all but a week of my vacation time, Denise, I am not sure
committing so much time to something for me is the right thing to do, thought
it does sounds pretty fantastic.” Greg knew the sacrifice I would be making
because our time off for the rest of the year would be limited. The guilt didn’t last long when he was considering
days on a clear, untainted lake in Ontario.
 |
| Lake Missinaibi, Ontario |
“You need
this, Greg, you need to get off the grid and not have to think, unwind from all
your projects, from our Freedman’s, and maybe even from me.” I threw myself in the mix to get a rise out
of him. He reached over and put his hand
on my arm and shook me. We both laughed. We were bonded to each other like two pieces
of glued wood, but even they could use a healthy dose of separation from time
to time. “Talk to Tommy to see what he
can do to make it happen.” As much as I
depended on Greg, Tommy, his boss, was worse than I ever was.
“I will
ask Tommy if he can live without me for two weeks, but I am not going to get my
hopes too high.”
The next
day, I got Greg’s text, “Tommy agreed, Denise, he making it happen, looks like
I am headed to Ontario for the better part of June! Can you handle that staying on Congress St? Are you sure you want me to do this?”
 |
| Greg with his part of his catch of the day |
Mustering
all the bravery I could muster I texted back, “Sure. It’s time I grow up, don’t ya think?” The idea of spending nights at the
cottage. How had I become so needy and
unsure that I couldn’t spend a few weeks alone.
My brow tensed at the very thought.
Perhaps it was all that we had been through in this inner-city neighborhood. Little by little, the neighborhood was
becoming safer and I knew our neighbors.
After Greg left, a few PJ days with a good book were beginning to sound like
my own personal retreat. All this what
if thinking was keeping me from the benefits of a house completely quiet. He continually gives of himself everyday to be sure I am well cared for, and in the end I got back a very relaxed and happy hubby! We all need time to grow in our passions, to breathe deep whatever that might look like to you. Give this gift to your spouse. As hard as it was to release my need, it strengthened both of us.
 |
| Greg and Dave coming in one evening after a day on the lake. Look at that sunset. Look for future life light stories coming your way soon. I have tried to recreate events, locales and conversations from my memories of them. In order to maintain their anonymity in some instances I have changed the names of individuals and places, I may have changed some identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations and places of residence. |
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